The Sacrafice to be Equal
by Hane Tsuki- Wings of the Moon
Summary: What if Bella left, after Edward left her, She sought out others, in Italy What if they changed her? She wanted to be equal to him, she wanted to find himbad summary!Maybe it's better explained inside...rated T for Bella is going to, well, be very dark..
1. Chapter 1

**This story is what if Bella left, after Edward left her. She wanted to find him after she had become his equal, even though it hurt the ones she loved.**

_**Hane Tsuki-Wings of the Moon does not own Twilight nor New Moon, She does not own Edward :'( Nor Bella, She doesn't own any published thing yet….YET!...**

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_"_The Volturi,"_

" _Volterra," _

"_Italy,"_

" _I wasn't going to live without you" _

"_Kind of like the royal family"_

" _you don't mess with the Volturi"_

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He couldn't live without me, Ha! What a lie, a fake. He wouldn't really die for me….would he? No, not any more… The thoughts I thought. The ideas I came up with, they would hurt Charlie, and Renee. But I didn't want to live anymore… I just wanted him…and he didn't want me, for what I was, a pathetic human. 

I tried to not think about these things, but one day I thought that maybe, the thing I had wanted most…maybe… Maybe he could love me if I was equal to him, if I too became the monster. These thoughts, were the end of me. Maybe I could seek out others, 'monsters'…

I bought the ticket, a one way ticket. I sent the rest of my money to my father, I wouldn't need it, either I would die, or be changed. I wrote a note telling them 'sorry' saying I loved them. I left my truck and set it ablaze. With my new stereo. I hitchhiked I didn't care, I didn't think about the risks. I got to the airport, eventually. I got on the plane. I flew away, forever.

I took bus to Volterra. It was old, the walls. I didn't even know how to find them. I didn't know if I could. But somehow I did. When the phantoms came out, when they smelled my scent, I begged them to change me.

They took me to him, Aro, and his brothers. I begged him to change me. When he asked me why, I told him, about _him._ Aro shook his head, and took my hand. Cold, hard hand, it looked so, fragile. He looked back to me, questions in his misty red eyes. A girl, a child appeared. She glared at me, and hissed, while only moments before she had smiled.

"Imagine the possibilities, the joy she could bring to our little household! Can't you imagine how she turns out?" Aro asked his brothers.

Aro and his brothers talked about this decision.

In the end…it was the end. And I was changed, forever. I lay on a hard bed, fire consumed my whole body.

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Sorry it was short, gomenasai! please review! the more reviews the sooner i get chapt2 out! 


	2. Chapter 2

Chap 2

This is from Alice's POV, and third person's. The first part of this story starts a day earlier than the first chapter. Meaning the third chapter will be on normal time….sorry in any of that is confusing…

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**Alice's POV**

Jasper and I were on our way to Denali, 'A break from homework' as he put it. Carlisle and Esme were still in Cornwall. We were just going to visit some friends. We had taken a plane from there and had to transfer flights in Philadelphia, we had one more to go, in Seattle. Edward wasn't to know…That we would be that close to _her._

We were half way to Seattle when it happened. I was in the middle of a conversation with Jasper, when I froze.

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"Alice!" Jasper pulled me back to the present. "Alice, what did you see?"

"It's Bella!" I frantically whispered. "She decided that tonight, tonight she's going to end herself!"

"Can we do anything?

"We have to get to her, now!"

"Calm down" Jasper put his arms around me, slowly I felt calmer.

I sobbed, "We'll be too late."

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**3rd persons POV**

When Alice and Jasper reached Seattle, they didn't take their next flight. They drove straight Forks. But it was too late. They had missed Bella. It was daylight when they reached Forks, Bella was in a plane bye then, already heading, away. As they drove through Forks, Jasper slowed.

"We're too late" Alice whispered.

They drove into Charlie's driveway. There sat Bella's truck, it was destroyed, almost gone. No red paint appeared. "Wait here." Alice whispered to Jasper.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come?" He asked her. She shook her head 'no'.

Alice got out and went to the door. She knocked.

"Alice?" Charlie asked when he opened the door.

"Charlie, I'm so sorry, I heard what happened…"

"Oh Alice." Charlie wailed, he lowered his head and cried.

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**Alice's POV**

I was going to stay nearby, to help Charlie with the funeral, Jasper too. I had to tell the others, and eventually Edward would have to know. I called Carlisle first.

"Hello?" Carlisle answered.

"Carlisle…"

"Alice, is something wrong?"

"Bella died."

"What? How?"

"We don't know exactly what happened. She was driving, and then her truck caught fire…."

"Alice, I'm so sorry, does Edward know?"

"I called you first…I don't think, I can't tell him." I heard him sigh.

"He will have to know."

"Please don't make me do it…" I heard him sigh, again.

"I'll do it, where are you and Jasper now?"

"In Forks, I'm helping Charlie with- with- the funeral."

"Alright, are you going to be alright?"

"Yeah," I suppressed a sob.

"Good bye Alice."

"Bye"

I disconnected. I covered my mouth as I tried not to cry.

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	3. Chapter 3

**It's a lil' longer than my other chaps...sorry i didn't get it out sooner...I was internetless for a few days. Gave me enough time to fix up the chap a bit...enjoy...****warning it's depressing**

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The pain, it was indiscribable. It consumed me, my every thought, it burned my insides, my eyes. Flames from great fires burned in front of my awakening eyes. I screamed as it burned away my soft flesh. 

Finally it took me. I fell deep into a dark hole, the flames still burning. But flames didn't appear before my eyes, my screams became background sounds and I heard other things.

"Bella? Bella?" A familiar voice asked, a hysterical panic. "Bella, you scared me!" It was my mother, from years ago. She picked a younger version of me. I don't know why she was here, in my mind...now of all times. That thought, that memory faded as more come. Images, memories, flashed before my eyes: A small child, once named Bella Swan, dancing in the back of a dance rehersal. Mother and I, at the beach, going to Phil's games. But just as soon as they had appeared, they vanished, they were too vague to remember anyways. I forgot everything as soon as they vanished.

"Bella," A new voice said. It was then that I saw him. He just stood there before me. Then every memory, every image, of my angel came back. The first was the first I had seen him, in that classroom glaring at me, then it all came in at once. Edward and I at school, my home, his, in my truck, in his volvo, sitting in the meadow. Sitting there with me, glistening before me, then it all shattered.

"You are my life now." His voice echoed one last time.

" Edward," I gasped, I reached out for him.

"Bella, what have you done?" He asked me as he took a step back. "Is this your sacrifice?"

" Edward, I love you, and I am willing to do anything for you!" But he just shook his head.

"Good bye Bella" His velvety voice repeated. "I love you too."

"NO!" I screamed. He faded away. The scorching fire intensified, my angel wavered, his face faded in the flames, and once again that was all before my eyes, the fire that burned me.

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I sat up, the fire was gone but the memory of the pain was burned into my memories. I felt cold, and hard. And the room I was in was just as cold, and dark. Then a sudden flare filled my, a hunger. But I suppressed it, and I did not fail. Subsequently something tugged on my memory. I fought to try an d remember, but only vague faces appeared. Unknown faces, beautiful faces, and then not as beautiful, a old man, and a woman. Then they faded, and I never remembered their names. 

I stood up and looked and searched for a door. I spoke, to myself, or maybe to whoever was here. "Hello?"

"Greetings" Said a child's voice. A young girl appeared. "So you are awake? I'm Jane in case you have forgotten."

I laughed, "I remember nothing."

Jane looked at me strangely. "Aren't you hungry?" She asked.

"Yes, but I want to know why I'm here, who I am, everything." She looked so confused. "Normally when the transformation is complete, the victim has lost control, searching for food."

"Transformation?" I asked.

"You came to us, begging for us to change you."

"Who is us?"

"The Volturi...we are vampires, if that does sounds familiar." It did, I knew what it meant, and it sounded right. I nodded. "Your hunger is the hunger for the one substance that can sustain us."

"Blood" I whispered.

She smiled. "Come along, if you can resist your hunger, then let me introduce you to what you would call your father." She pulled me out of the room.

"You mean the one who changed me?"

"Yes" Jane answered lightly. "This way Miss Swan."

She pulled me into another hallway. "Swan?" I asked.

"That's your name, Isabella Marie Swan. What do you prefer?"

"I don't know, I don't remember, but Isabell, that is lovely."

"Nice choice." We came into a last hallway, our quick pace passed a woman, of which I took little notice of. Then we went through big doors, which led into a large room. There others conveined.

"Ah, my daughter, Welcome." A tall pale faced, long dark haired man said.

"Father" I answered.

"You have become so beautiful." he told me. "Are you not hungry?" He asked.

"I am hungry, but I am suppressing it."

"Amazing, we had anticipated your gifts..."

"Gifts?"

"We all have unique abilities...I see memories, Jane inflicts pain, Demetri sees relationships, and there are many more. As a human, we had no affect on you, Jane couldn't touch you, Demetri heard nothing, and I saw nothing. We knew you were special, and so you have been added to our family..." I nodded, his explination was acceptable. I looked back to my father.

"I would be delighted to stay."

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	4. Chapter 4

"NO!" Edward screamed. Carlisle had not called him, it was Rosalie, she had learned of the news just a day before he. She didn't wait to call him like Emmet and Alice had advised. "NO!" Edward yelled as he threw his fists against rock. He let himself fall to the ground. He sobbed, tearlessly. He cried, as the pain of his lost tortured his already dead heart.

Then he stopped, he tried to calm himself, he breathed deeply. He decided to call Charlie, maybe, just maybe Rosalie was mistaken.

"Swan residence" Charlie's voice answered.

"This is Dr. Cullen" Edward said, perfectly mimicking Carlisle's voice.

Edward heard Charlie shudder. "Begging my pardon, but do you have any idea what your son did?"

"Excuse me?" Edward asked.

"Bella is dead because of that boy!" Charlie yelled, then he broke into tears. Edward dropped his phone. He let himself fall off the cliff he was standing on.

He hit the ground at full speed, but he barely took notice, it didn't even hurt. It didn't compare to the pain he was feeling already. Then he knew what he was to do, he would follow his love's path, he would Them end his life for him.

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"Carlisle!" Alice shreeked into the phone when he answered. 

"Alice, what is it?"

"What did you tell Edward?"

"I haven't spoke to him yet...I did however tell Emmett..."

"Rosalie! How could she!?"

"Alice, what's wrong?"

"Edward is going to Italy."

"No."

"He is!"

"I'll stop him." Carlisle said darkly.

"But Carlisle, he will-"

"I know" Carlisle interrupted, "I know how to deal with this."

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Edward was already on the plane. He closed his eyes, and all he saw was her face. Her face in the forest as he condemned her. "I thought I was doing the right thing." He whispered to himself. "I just wanted you to have a normal human life...that was all."

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Carlisle was too late, Alice was too late, for she ((and Jasper))had decided to come. But Edward would beat them there, Alice knew that, Carlisle knew that, Edward knew that.

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"I'll join you soon." Edward whispered as his plane flew over the ocean.

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**MUAHAHAHA!!! ((I kno i'm evil...)) I apologize for the fact it's so short...and Katluva0323, I'm sorry you'll have to wait until the next chap... And if i have time i'll finish next chapi before the night's over...K? Please Review! ((Reviews encourage me to write more, and faster...))**


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, i kno i promised to have this done yesterday...but i kinda got off track reading other fanfics...gomenasai! **

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I walked down the dark alleys of Volterra. It's such a beautiful city at night. Us phantoms wandered the streets at this time of the night. 

The whispers of the night were too distant and soft for me to understand. I was curious, for the whispers sounded excited. I found Philemon, on of my own guards, he is never too far away from me. Not only one of my protectors but a friend too, he is fairly new, kind of like me.

"What's the word?" I asked him.

"Some one is coming."

"Do we know them?" I asked.

"Word has it, he's from Carlisle's Coven. He's just outside the gate..."

"Carlisle...he's a friend of Father's, isn't he?"

"That's correct..."

"Who is this person whose coming?"

"I don't know...why don't you use your power?"

"Oh right!" I laughed. Philemon shook his head.

Father's power could see memories, Jane knew pain, Marcus saw relationships, and Demetri was a tracker. Though my Aro, my father, changed me. My powers where more familiar to Demetri... In my mind I could see a map, of the wold. I could see little pin points of light, they represented others, like us. Then with my mind, I could zoom in and see the land, with my mind ((or rather eyes)) I could see them, and follow them. But it was only sight, I can't speak, nor hear, nor feel, only see. Good thing I can read lips...

I searched for the stranger. I easily found him. He looked depressed, but determined. He would soon be here.

"Isabell." Alec suddenly appeared. "Master wishes you inside, until we are sure the stranger is not an enemy."

I nodded. Alec vanished, I turned to leave, Philemon escorted me back.

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"Awe my daughter." Father greeted me, kissing my forehead. 

"Is the stranger dangerous?" I asked.

"Perhaps." Father answered. Father was very overly protective of me. I was his daughter, in a sense, and as it seemed, he loved me as a daughter. My skills excited him.

"Am I required to stay here?" I asked him.

"Not at all, but I rather it if you stay in doors. Keep Philemon near by..."

"Yes father." But as I exited the grand stone room, He came in. He froze when he saw me. He was young, not as a vampire, but in human appearance, 17 maybe. He had bronze hair and unfamiliar gold eyes.

"Bella?" He gasped. I ignored him, he wasn't really speaking to me...was he?? He reached out to grab my arm. I turned, but before his hand touched me, Philemon and another guard were suddenly there, between me and him.

"Lay not a hand on the Daughter of the Volturi." Philemon spoke.

"What?" he asked.

"Put your hand down." Philemon ordered. His hand was still frozen in mid air. "Now." Philemon ordered, again. He slowly dropped his hand.

"Bella?" He whispered.

"I'm sorry, but my name is Isabell, of the Volturi. And you are?" My question shocked him, and seemingly, my answer hurt him.

"Mr. Cullen, correct?" Father asked, perhaps trying to distract him, it didn't work.

"Yes?" He asked, but he still stared at me.

"Stop pestering my daughter, I've heard you've come from great distances."

Mr. Cullen turned, and withat I left. My guard following me.

"Why did he call you Bella?" Philemon asked.

"My human name was Isabella, maybe he knew me."

"Maybe..."

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"What is she doing here?" Edward hissed at Aro. 

"Who, my Isabell?" Edward hissed again. "Why are you here?" Aro asked.

Edward hesitated..."I don't know...anymore..."

"Are you not Carlisle's son?"

"I am his son." Edward answered.

"Then you are in deed the Edward who left Bella Swan alone in a forest?"

Edward narrowed his eyes. "What did you do to her."

"She came to us."

"Why?"

"Is it not obvious? She originally planned to follow you, after we changed her...But apparently, human memories fade."

"No." Edward gasped.

"I guess you would like speak to her...And I'm sure she is curious about you as well."

"Please." Edward begged.

Aro nodded, allowing Edward to go. Edward turned to leave, to follow her. "Remember, though," Aro spoke. Edward stopped and turned. "She has no memory of ever being with you, her memories are gone, and she is my daughter."

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**Hopefully that wasn't too short for my fans...and remember reviews fuels my creativeishness, and need to type faster...! So please, Please Review!  
**

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	6. Chapter 6

**I reminder to the world, I do not own Twilight-New Moon-Eclipse ((which is the reason its taking me so long to get these out...I won't stop reading it...))**

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"Bella!" Mr. Cullen called, following me and my escourt. 

"What do you want?" Philemon asked, turning around. Mr. Cullen glared at Philemon.

"It's alright, Philemon, I don't think he's a threat..." Philemon looked at me, shock in his ruby eyes. "Well, except maybe to you..." I added with a laugh.

"Fine" Philemon said, resigned, he turned to leave, but looked at Mr. Cullen one last time. "You harm her in any way, you will be sorry." Then he left.

I countinued down the hall. Mr. Cullen following me. "So, you knew me, before I changed?" I guessed.

"Yes" He answered.

I looked at him through the corners of my eyes, his expression was strange. "Who are you, Mr. Cullen?" I asked him.

He grimanced when I said his name. "Please, call me Edward."

"Edward...hm...nice name..." I stopped walking, and I looked at him, I memorized his appearence. "Who are you?" I asked again. He didn't speak, he was confused, perhaps? "Let me rephrase...Who were you to me...as a human?"

He grimanced again. "We were close."

I laughed, and continued walking, "A human...and a vampire...Amazing!"

"Yes...it was." He said quietly.

I stopped again...He wasn't comfortable...and neither was I. We knew each other long ago-in my mind-It was annoying having the whole family know...perhaps they already did. I went the opposite direction, and opened a random door. I poked my head in, Alec and Jane were talking about sommething, I'd could care less of.

"Yes?" Jane hissed. She didn't care much for me. She hated the fact that her powers didn't work on me.

"Will you let Father know that I'll be out in the city, tell him not to worry, I have an escort." I looked back at Edward.

"Fine." She replied. She didn't like to be bossed around.

"Thanks" I answered.

I left the room and Edward followed me once again. When we came outside, we spoke again. "So who were you to me?"

Edward sighed, "We were in love."

"Will you explain to me why you let me come here?" I asked him, angerily. 

He grimanced, "I never meant for any danger come to you."

We were walking down a dark street, I paused to look at him. "How could you have let me come here..." Then I understood before he could speak again. "What did you do?" I asked. "That would make me want to come here?"

He winced, "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"You left me!" I accused. He looked away, but nodded. "Why the heck did you do that?" But I cut him off before he could speak again, "No! Nothing you could say could justify what you did!" I turned my back to him.

"I left you, so you could have a chance of living a normal human life..." Okay, I was wrong, that almost justified his reasoning, I turned back to face him. "You have to believe me, that I love you more than anything."

I looked back at him. His eyes begging me to believe him. I sighed. "I believe you" I told him, his face lit up. "But, I'm not the person you once loved. 'Bella' is dead, I'm sorry, I'm not her." His face was torn. And it being hurt, hurt me, I didn't like it...how could I? Someone proclaiming his undying love for me... "I'm sorry," I apologized. "I don't remember anything. If I had, then I would have probably followed you to the end of the Earth."

I sighed. "Why don't you stay around...for a while?" I asked him. His face was so confused.

"What?"

I sighed again. "Just because I don't remember being in love with you, doesn't mean we can't be friends." He didn't speak. "Or would you rather leave? Would it be easier?"

"I don't want to leave."

"Alright then...Can we start over?" I asked.

"Start over?"

I extended my hand to his. "I go bye Isabell Volturi, and you are?" He grimanced at my name, but shook my hand.

"Edward Cullen."

"Nice to meet you."

"And you." He sighed though.. "But I already know you."

I nodded, "I guess you do...but don't forget, I'm not the same as Bella."

He nodded. Then he shook his head, "How are you like this?" he asked.

"Like, in what way?"

"Technically your only 6 days old..."

"Oh, my self control?" He nodded. "I don't know, I don't like blood that much." He laughed at that.

"Does it make you sick?" He asked, laughing.

"Not really..." I lied, blood...it always gave me a headache, and I could never concentrate when I saw it...or smelled it...Which made it difficult for me to feed.

"Liar."

"How would you know?" I demanded...Then I shook my head... "You really did know me..."

"You were always a terrible liar."

I sighed..."So your staying?"

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**Is that better? Longer hopefully...I'll try to write more...faster...please give me more reviews!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Here's a nice long chap...ENJOY!!!**

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We sat up top one of the grand buildings that looked over the city. Edward and I were talking, just talking. I enjoyed his company.

"So really, you don't like blood?" He asked.

"Well...it's complicated..." He waited. "I know I need it, and it makes me strong...and if I don't have it I get thirsty...but I have a lot of self-control."

"So that's your gift?" He asked.

"Self-control? No way!" I laughed... "Its more of a curse...It gets on everyones' nerves...when I hesitate...sometimes I refuse to feed..." Edward looked away. "What?" I asked him.

"I should have known..." He told me.

"Known?"

"Your not a vegatarian like we are..."

"Vegatarian...?"

"We take animals, not humans..." My eyes were wide with shock.

"I never thought..." I was excited, beyond all belief. Edward looked at me, confusingly...at my face. "Oh, my gosh!"

"What-?"

I was smiling. "I never knew there was another choice than taking innocent humans!" Edward sighed, sigh of relief? "Are you alright?"

"I'm happy...I guess, that you would be willing to give up taking humans."

"Willing? You bet...oh...and it's not really me taking them..."

"What do you mean?" I looked away, if I could blush I would right there and then. "B-Isabell?"

"I never take enough blood to actually kill them...Others have to finish them off for me..."

"Really?" He asked, unbelieving.

I covered my face with my hands. "Stop looking at me!" I squeled.

"What's wrong?" He tried not to laugh at my expression.

"You are embarassing me! Just stop thinking about it!"

He laughed then...When he finished he sighed. "We would love for you to join our family."

"We?" I asked, no longer embarrased.

"Sorry, you don't remember...My Father, Carlisle-"

"Oh, right! He's friends with father!" I interrupted...He nodded... "Sorry," I apologized for interuppting, "Please continue."

"My mother, Esme, My brothers, Emmet, and Jasper, and sisters, Alice and Rosalie."

"Hm..." I wondered. Then I got an idea... "Where is your family?"

"Oops." He chuckled.

"Oops what?" I asked.

"I forgot...Alice must have...seen, she's probably on her way here..."

"Alice...?" I asked.

"She sees things that happen in the future...but its not entirely solid, if you change your mind, your future changes...She saw me coming here to ask them to destroy me...she tries to stop that."

I hesitated. "Destroy you?" I asked, suddenly distracted.

He sighed. "When I believed that you had ceased to exist, I didn't want to exist too."

"Wow." I said... "So are they coming here...is that such a good idea? I mean Father is kind to me...but I have seen somethings he does...and well..."

"I don't think I should tell Alice about you, not yet..." He sighed... "I don't want them here either."

"How close are they?" I asked.

Edward thought a moment... "I can't be sure...last I heard, Alice was with Charlie..."

"Charlie?"

"Your father..." That shocked me.

"Why was she there?" I asked.

"Its a long story...Charlie was very grateful of Alice...she helped you a lot...from last spring..."

"Not to get off topic...but what happened?"

"Another vampire tried to kill you...well, he almost succeeded." Edward took my right hand in his. I looked down at my almost invisible scare...I only had two...but this one was older than the second...

"He bit me?" I gasped.

Edward smiled. "I sucked the venom out, before it was too late."

"Wow." I was speechless. Then I shook my head..."Alright...lets get back on topic...Alice was with Charlie...my _Father_..."

"In Forks...Washington State, she would have gotten on a plane as soon as she had seen, which was right about the time I got on a plane..."

"Cool! I'm an American!" I paused. "So she's on a plane and should be here soon...?"

"That's about right."

I smiled..."Hang on a moment..." I closed my eyes and saw a map of the world behind my eye lids. I easily found a fast moving pinpoint of light heading towards Italy. My guess she would be landing withing the hour. "She'll be here in about an hour." I told him, my eyes still closed. I decided to zoom in on the fast moving dot. Soon I saw the plane, and then my Eyes were within the plane, and soon I found a face more beautiful then any others. I opened my eyes. Edward was staring at me...

"What?" he asked, yet again confused.

"It's my gift, I can see, just about anything, present wise."

"You saw Alice?" I smiled and nodded. "Interesting."

"Well, are you going to call her?"

He sighed..."I guess so..." He reached for his pocket then hesitated... "I forgot...I left it..."

"Here" I pulled out my own cute little silver phone.

"Thanks." He took it, but before he dialed the number, I spoke...

"Can I listen in?"

"Um...I guess so..."

The phone rang, but once. Our heads were together to hear Alice.

"Edward!" She almost shouted.

"Alice..." Edward said flatly.

"What the heck do you think you are doing!?"

"Don't worry...I won't do anything stupid..."

"Why?" She asked...

"Its-" Edward's eyes flickered to me. "Complicated. It would be easier if you didn't come by..."

"Fine...I don't see you doin anything bad...Oh...just a few minutes ago I saw the Volturi defend an invisible person...do you mind explaining that?"

"Uh...later..."

"You better...fine...whatever...good bye!"

The other line faded.

"Quite a temper she has..." I giggled. Edward put away the phone, and handed it to me. I took it and leaned away...

"She said you were invisible...?"

"Oh...right...Father told me that even when I was human, their powers didn't work on me...at all..."

"There is a problem with that theroy...when you were human Alice could see your future..."

"Oh...Maybe she just can't see me...at all..."

"Maybe."

We both became silent...

"What's your gift?" I asked curiously.

"I read minds...or rather...I can hear anyones thoughts...in about a 2 to 3 mile radius..." Then he smirked.

"What?"

"Well not anyones..."

"Oh" I said, smiling, "You can't read mine...can you...?"

"No" There was a silence again. "So would you join our family?"

Even though Edward had said nearly the same thing...it wasn't the same. I froze, and thought about it... "Edward...I...I know you have known me for a, long time...But...in my mind...I've just met you today...And even though I haven't lived here like this long...Its the only thing I've known..."

Edward was very quiet.

"I'm sorry Edward...I just...can't make any promises..."

"I understand."

"Please know that...I very much enjoy your company...but I can't just decide to leave just now..."

Edward was looking away, but then he looked back. "You must understand that I believed you dead..." He shuddered at the word. "I can't make myself leave again..."

"I'm not asking you to...I guess I'm asking you to give me some time...to decided what I want...what I need to do."

"Alright..." Edward sighed. The dark city suddenly made a little of it's own light...The city was awakening...dawn was on its way.

"I have to go now..." I told him, as I stood up. "Morning is on it's way. You better get indoors too...Or get yourself a cloak...Maybe you should go find Alice and tell her the truth..."

"Can't I come with you?" He asked.

I looked away... "Just because I need help finishing off-..." I sighed. Then looked back at him. "I need to feed more often then others..."

"You said that your self-control-" He started...I interrupted.

"It hurts when you resist something you can't exist without...Whether I want it or not..."

"Alright...then..." Edward sighed. Then he stood up next to me. "I'm sorry, it's just too difficult for me to part with you...no matter how long it would be."

I smiled, that was so sweet. The night sky changed from blue and black to a grey purple, soon it would become gold. "Isabell!" A voice very nearly yelled. Edward and I's eyes looked down to see Philemon. He wore a grey cloak, and held two more.

"Time to go." I told Edward. He nodded, sadly. I jumped from the roof Edward and I had sat on, nearly the whole night. He followed behind me.

"Master wants you indoors before dawn."

"Figures" I replied. Philemon handed us the cloaks.

"And he wants to know what _he_ is going to do..."

"That's...undecided..."

"Whatever...the sun is on it's way...may I escort you back??"

"No thank you..." I told him. He nodded and then vanished.

"So, who is this Philemon?" He asked me. We both, now, wore the cloaks, we walked slowly back.

"A friend...He's only about a generation old..."

"I don't like him..."

"I didn't think you would..." I sighed.

"What?"

"You aren't going to try and be overly protective of me...are you? That would be extremely annoying...and embarassing..."

He sighed... "I'll do my best." We walked down one of the many alleys and soon we came to one of our secret entrances. I pulled up lid and jumped through, he followed behind.

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**Was that longer...? Did you all enjoy it...do you think i did it right...? Tell me what you think...Reveiw!!!!**


	8. Chapter 8

**ENJOY!!**

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I finished my meal as fastly as I could...I hated thinking that I was taking the life of an innocent human...and that the human would have to suffer so much...just so I wouldn't be in pain. I wished I could do it Edward's way...takeing animals sounds so much better than taking peoples...then finally my body rejected any more intake of blood. Ew...blood...I let my prey fall down, one of the others took him. I cleaned my self, then I left. Edward was sitting in the lobby...He didn't look very happy. But that instantly changed when he saw me. He sprang up from his seat and greeted me.

"Hi" I said in a flat tone. But I shook my head before he could speak. "Not to be rude...but I need some privacy..."

His expression went straight down when he heard that. "If that is what you need..."

"Don't be upset...I have a lot on my mind to think about..." He nodded...understanding.

I left the corridor, swiftly running down different hallways...until my door stood in front of me. I opened it and entered my room. My room's walls' are a light shade of brown. I have a small bed, a cd player, a laptop computer ((wireless internet)), and a tv...I use only one out of all my possesions.

I laid down onto my bed and closed my eyes. I can't sleep at all...like all vampires...I don't use my bed to sleep. I use it so my Eyes can wander. I found that same old map, this time I zoomed in on Washington State. I had to zoom closer to find Forks...What a tiny little town it was. I zoomed closer until I was there. And soon I began to look for clues about myself. I guessed that I had gone to the highschool there, so I went to the highschool, I found my file and read it to myself. I found my address, and went there.

What I saw, almost made me cry. An old man kneeled on the floor, with tears pooring down his face. His lips moved, and I read them easily.

"Dear Lord, I know I've never really spoken to you, but please, I pray, take care of my little girl." I zoomed out and sat up, opening my eyes. Had I really left so many behind? I had before accused Edward of leaving me...and I told him it that he could never justify what had done...but then I looked at what I had done...

"What was I thinking!" I asked myself. "How could I leave them???!!!" And then I remembered...Edward had said that we were in love. And that he had left...Maybe I did plan to chase after him...maybe... "Maybe I loved him more than life itself...maybe I was willing to give up my humanity for him...So that we could be equal..." I whispered to myself.

Then I paused, I was in a delima...what would be the right choice?? Go back with Edward and his family...whom I don't remember...but know that they love me...It would be wrong to tell them 'no'. But then, what of my Father...my creator...without him...I wouldn't have to be making this decision..." I froze again. Questions suddenly came to mind...questions I should have asked him a long time ago... ((which was when I awoke after I was changed...))

I left my room, Father should be in his private study bye now... I came to his door, he answered me before I knocked. "Come in, my daughter." He said in his normal, cheerful voice.

"Father...I..." I didn't know how to ask him.

"What's troubling you honey?" He asked me.

"Why did you change me? What did I tell you to convince you to change me?"

He looked away. "I was hoping you wouldn't have to ask that."

"Why didn't you ever tell me? That I was planning on following a lost love?"

"Now don't take it the wrong way, I just see you as my daughter...And I love your different personality...you remind me of Carlisle in a lot of ways...your hesitant to feed...your sarcastic comments. And you talents...All of them amazing qualities...and I didn't and don't want you to leave."

I thought on that, but continued on, "Father...I do seem to belong here...but in other ways I do...but I don't...and I know it...you and I...we aren't the same...I don't belong here..."

Father's face became angry..."But you belong with a man you just met a few hours ago?"

I shook my head. "I never said that...I don't really know him...like he claims he knows me...I...need time...alone..."

"You want to see your options...and not closed up in a single city...is that it?"

"I want to explore the world...But I promise...If you let me...I promise to come and visit..."

Father sighed... "And we only just met three...four days ago..." But he looked at me...seeing my eyes... "Yes, you may go...But I must warn you to remember our rules..."

"I know father...You and everyone has repeated the rules over and over to me every time I decided to go outside..." He gave me that look... "I won't tell anyone about our existance..."

"You better not..."

"May I go now?"

"In perfect daylight... of course not..." He sighed again, "Can't I tempt you to stay longer...?"

"Hm...Tell me what I told you...before you changed me..."

He sighed... "You told me that you loved Edward...that he had told you about us...and that once you became one of us...you would follow him until his distractions couldn't distract him from you..."

I nodded. Then I asked. "Why can't I remember anything...?"

"Human memories fade...They faded faster for you...We don't know why...It was your sacrifice..."

"My sacrife...My memories?"

"Your memories of love...was your sacrifce to become equal to he..."

"I don't see anyone else sacrificing memories-"

"You didn't have to be changed...you had a life before you...it was your choice...just about all of us didn't have a choice...and others chose for us...you begged us to change you...and we did...it was your choice."

"So if I didn't chose...if you chose for me...if-..." I sighed... "If someone else made the choice...then the only thing I would have to scarifice...was my mortality...?"

"That's the theory...I'm sorry Isabell."

"Me too..." I sighed again... "I'm going to my room now..." I told him, I stood up to leave.

"Isabell..." He nodded, letting me leave his room.

I walked slowly down the corridor...Thinking about what I would do...I wasn't going to go with Edward...even though the thought was very pleasant...I liked him a lot...I couldn't help it...I really did need

"Isabell" Philemon suddenly beside me. He had to slow down his pace to match mine.

"Hi"

"Why are you walking so slow..?"

"I'm thinking...Is it the same pace as a human's?"

"What?" He asked incredulously.

I stopped to look him in the eye... "I can't explain everything to you now...but I'm leaving..."

"Why?"

"this world..." I looked around us... "Isn't the one I belong in..."

"You think you belong with a no-"

"Philemon" I sighed... "I promise to explain to you before I leave."

"Fine."

I walked back to the lobby, alone...

"Bell-Isabell!" Edwawrd said, jumping to his feet, a wide grin on his face...Of course he heard Philemon's thoughts...but he couldn't hear mine...and Philemon knew what I was thinking... "You've decided to come live with us!" He said, over joyed...I didn't want to hurt his feelings...

"Umm...I'm sorry, but no Edward... I like you alot, but I'm not ready to go with you... I'm going to explore the world... I want only two things right now...but I can only have one of them...So I'm going to live without both...for a while."

Edward's face had fallen.

"Don't be sad... I just need time alone."

Edward shook his head, "I've been alone, away from you for too long..."

"I'm sorry Edward...My feelings...they're different from yours. Goodbye."

I turned back and left him...And I went to my room. Philemon came by, and I explained what was going on...why I had to do it...and that my feelings weren't the same for him...nor for Edward...But I didn't tell him that I had more feelings for Edward than he...After he left I packed my book bag. I wouldn't really need much...Just a change of clothes, hairbrush...and such...And I took some money...and a credit card...Father had tons of money...and banks worldwide...he gave me my own bank account, and the credit card...with plenty of money on it...I never asked how he had all the money...I never really cared...nor wanted to know...He has lived...for hundreds of years...but like I said...I didn't care...

When I finished the small assentials that I would need, I lay down on my bed. It would be a long time before the sun would set...So I closed my eyes, and found that familiar old map, I zoomed in on Forks, Washington and found my human father. I watched him morn for his dead daughter.

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**This is only 40 or so words shorter than the last chapter...but hopefully it was still long enough...Please more reviews...I am over joyed that I've gotton as many as I have...but still...They're slightly addictive...I need more... MUAHAHAHA! I love reviews...((I know...I have issues...)) ((and if we're lucky...I'll have next chap done tonight...though I can't promise it's longness...))**


	9. Chapter 9

**hopefully this is real long too...and um...sorry if it seems kinda listy...I tried not to do that...**

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**"Perhaps Alice should know about." I suggested, it was nearly time for me to leave. And now I was just delaying myself...well not me...Edward...it was weird I didn't want to hurt his feelings...and even weirder...I couldn't think of why not... 

"What would be the point...?" Sadly his feelings were already hurt...

I sighed, "Because I might decide to come and visit..."

"Would you really?" He asked, his spirits lifting again.

"Of course, I' trying to decided what I want...What I truly need... I don't know much about your family..."

"When will you visit?" He asked.

"I don't know yet...just give me some space and time."

"Only if you promise to visit...and soon."

"Okay...So are you going to tell Alice?"

He sighed..."I guess...Where are you planning to go first."

"Forks...I want to learn more about myself...Don't worry I won't reveal the fact that I'm still in this world.."

"Can I go with you?"

"No...I must do this alone...But you can escort me to the airport...if you want to..."

"I'd be delighted to...and instead of telling Alice...I'll just introduce you to her..."

"Alright..."

* * *

We put on our cloaks...just in case...but the sun had already set...I think Father just wanted to give me a goodbye present...Then we left...Father was deeply unhappy and Philemon wouldn't seak to me. We left quickly, I didn't look back, I feared their unhappy looks could possibly change my mind.

* * *

"Edward!" Alice cried. Edward was just a few steps a head of me, she ran to him and hugged him. She didn't notice me...I stood farther away. There was too many people at the airport... "You jerk!" She slapped him, but then she hugged him again, "Don't you EVER do that again!" 

She still didn't notice I was there. "Alice calm down." Edward whispered.

"But..." Then she glared, "You owe me an explination!"

That was my cue to step forward, "I'm the explination."

"OH. MY. GOSH...BELLA!?" I grimanced at the name.

"Please...call me Isabell." I told her.

"You're one of us?" She asked. Actually it was more like accusing...

I nodded. Then my plane boarding was annonced. "I'm sorry I don't have time to explain...I have to go now." But then suddenly Alice was hugging me.

"No! You can't go! And leave us again!?" I pried Alice off of me...

"B-b-b-b-b-b-b-but mmmm!" She whimpered.

"Edward will explain." Edward put a hand on Alice's shoulder.

"She'll visit soon." Edward promised

"Good bye, Alice...Edward." And I left them...Yet again not looking back at two more vampires who obviously cared about me...because of the same reasons of before...I feared that I could not leave them...if I saw their faces...

* * *

The fligh excited me...at first...never had I been on a plane before...Well...that's not true...how else would have I gotten to Italy...used a transporter?...It was the first...that I remembered... 

I was in New York City before the plane was...to pass time I _Saw _everything that would concern me when I got there...

When I did get there...It was very enjoyable...until I had to stay in doors for the whole day...

* * *

Then before it even registered I was on my way to Seattle. I didn't leave until I had a good disguise...I didn't want to take the chance that someone might recognize me. So I did some shopping, which isn't on my favorite list. I bought green contacts to hide my red eyes, a pair of glasses with a metallic red frame. I put on a pair of clip on earrings with fake red crystals. I wore a long sleeved shirt that matched my glasses and and earrings. A long blue jeans skirt I bought as well, alone with a blonde curly wig. I looked in the mirror of the hotel mirror of my creation. I looked nothing like I looked before. And nothing at all of the human Bella...hopefully... Then I stole a nice little dark green mercury. 

It was like a big rain cloud hung over the little town... Everyone was quiet. I went to the school first...and into the small office building.

"May I help you?" The secutary asked.

"Yes, my name is Isa Rirulo, and I'm doing research on the death of Isabella Swan." My plan was to interview a few of the students...I hoped that maybe I could find friends of mine before I 'died'.

The lady looked into my eyes, she wasn't totally convinced. "Who do you work with?"

"I'm doing a news story." Logically it wasn't logical...for someone to do something like this...so late after the 'deceased'. But my explination seemded to convince her...I pulled out of my cute new messager bag, which I had recently aquired, a notebook and a pen.

The woman sighed, "You'll need to speak with Mr. Greene, our princibal about this." I nodded, while scribbling "Princibal- Mr. Greene".

* * *

I realized that convincing Mr. Greene to my cause was easier than the secrutary. (Which I had learned her name was Ms. Cope Which I had also added to my notes) 

"Miss Swan was a very bright student- Blah, blah, blah..." What Mr. Greene had to say had nothing to do with what I really wanted to know. Eventually he allowed me to leave...and he gave me permission to interview some of the students...But he would only allow me to do it during lunch...oh well...

At lunch I noticed one table that seed like they had their own personnal black cloud over their head.

I walked over to this table. There were three girls and two boys.

"Excuse me?" I asked. When I had come to this table.

"Yes?" One of the girls asked, annoyed.

"I'm Isa Ritulo..." Mr. Green had made a late announcement that I might speak to some of the students. They 'knew' who I was instanyly.

"I'm Jessica Stanley," the girl said.

"May I sit here?" I asked, indicating the empty seat next to her. They all nodded and let me sit down. "Did any of you know Isabella Swan?"

"Bella" One of the boys said.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"She went by Bella..."

"Oh" I added that to my notes, that explained why Edward had called me that... "And you are?"

"Mike...Mike Newton."

"You know her well...then?"

"Yeah...She worked at my parents store..."

"Were you close?"

"Not as...close as I would have liked..." He said.

"Miss stanley, did you know Bella?"

She sighed, " I was her first friend when she moved here..."

"Oh? Where did she move from?"

"Phoenix Arizona."

"Wow...the change from hot to cold must have been hard for her to adapt?"

"She never liked snow..." Mike said, quietly.

"Can you tell me what she was like?" I asked.

"She was okay...until..." But Jessica stopped.

"Until?" I pressed.

"She got involved with Him." Mike practically hissed.

"Him?"

"Edward Cullen" Jessica finished for him.

"When his family moved, he went with them, without Bella...It...broke her." Mike finished.

"She was literally like a zombie or something...for a long time...she never even really got over it..."

"She never spoke to us..." another girl answered, "I'm Angela..."

I added all this to my notebook.

"And then one day she didn't come back."

It became silent, and I nodded, "Thankyou for your time." And then I left.

* * *

Driving away I passe a cemetary. I didn't think, but I stopped and got out. Instantly I found my name. Which made little sense seeing that...well...where was the body?? 

_Isabella Swan  
1987-2006_

"Filthy leech." A voice startled me. I turned to my left to see a tall, russet brown skinned man, with black hair. Then I smelled his scent.

"Dog" I muttered. "What are you?" I asked him

He rolled his eyes.

"Never seen a were-wolf...have you?"

"No" I admitted.

"What are you doing here?" He demanded.

I looked back at the tombstone. "I'm looking for Bella Swan." I answered him.

"Its all your fault!" He growled. Looking back, I saw flowers in his left hand.

"You knew her?" I asked.

"You're not with the Cullens?" He asked, confused.

"No"

"Bella and I spoke a little, before-" He didn't finish.

"Were you close?"

"A bit But the week I couldn't see her- she left..." He paused, "I was her only hope in hapiness and I failed..."

"Did she know about you?"

"No"

"What's your name?" I asked.

"Jacob..." He answered.

Then I felt it necessary to tell him...about what happened to Bella.

"Jacob...I came here to learn about Bella...About me...because my memories were lost."

He glaed at me, but gawked when I pulled off my wig and glasses, I let my choclate brown hair fall at my sides.

"I think my eyes were brown-..."

"Bella" He gasped. "The Bloodsuckers, Cullens-"

"The didn't know what had happened either...Edward came there to destroy himself because he thouth I was dead too. But because I didn't remember his love, I left to come here instead."

"Why?"

"I want to remember my human memories."

Jacob nodded, accepting my answer. Then he sighed, "At least now I can ask you to forgive me for not being there fore you...Even if you don't remember...And I get to tell you good bye."

"And I forgive you..."

"You don't-"

"But if I remember someday..."

"Fine..." He sighed. "I guess we won't ever meet again?"

"Robably not..."

"Good bye...Bella." Before he ran off he shoved a hand full of unbloomed white roses into my hands.

"Good bye..." I whispered.

**

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How's that? I can't guarantee when the next chappie will be out...sense i'm moving to ENGLAND! ...and well we have to pack away the computer...Our flight is monday morning...and we have church tomorrow cause my dad has to preach.. and so yeah...and don't forget to review! Oh and one last thing..the part where alice is doing her 'b-b-b-b-but' was meant to do it the same way ron did it from potterpuppetpals...from wizard angst**


	10. Chapter 10

Alright, so we have just a few more chaps before I'm going to end this awesome fic...Thanks for all the lovely reviews...and thanks for wishing my flight well, it went very well. England is awesome...but now I have to ride my bike to school...and I think I caught a cold...((oh...and just to brag I won't ever have to take another biology or Algebra class ever again! ITS A MIRACLE!!!)) Anyways ((clears throat)) on with the chap!

* * *

I didn't want to hurt Charlie but I needed information. I used the same excuse as before. And it worked, and I got more the the story.

First of all I had found out that he was divorced from someone name Renee. He told me that she- I didn't like the cold, and that I hated snow. He told me that I had truly loved Edward...well that 'I' thought I did. Then he told me about that too familiar story that I keep hearing about; how Edward had crushed my heart and left me. Next about my depression, that he nearly sent me back with Renee, but I had refused to leave. Then his tone changed I'm not sure how, he told me about my friendship with Jacob, that I had changed so drastically, just because I had a friend. Then his tone went back. Jacob had stopped speaking to me, for a week, and during that short week I went back into my depression.

"And on that third day...she didn't come back. 'Just a drive' She told me. 'I'll be back soon'. We don't know what caused it, but her truck burned into flames. It had to have been four hours or so before I went looking for her. I would have done it sooner if she hadn't of called me 2 hours in...I had hoped...that she had gotten out before...but, the scientists found the remains of somethin' 'organic'. Something with her DNA on it...It was hard to believe, until she didn't come back home...until Renee came up. Until her funneral."

He had told me that it didn't feel right with out a real burrial. "I-we didn't seem right without a casket. The whole town came...and not just the town but nearly of all La Push. The Blacks, Clearwaters, Uleys, all of 'em." Charlie told me.

Then I left, before I could weep with him for his dead daughter, for my lost memories. Then I did that thing again, so very impulsive. I didn't really think about it. I just planned to tell him not to worry, or to blame, and to carry a grudge. When Charlie was asleep, I reentered the house, and went to my once bedroom. It was so much different from mine back in Italy, just more and less things was the difference. I had a bed, obviously, and a computer, a bookshelf filled with books. I checked my email, good thing I was already logged in, I didn't want to have to figure out my own password. The messages from my forgotten mother, and the ones I had sent, made me very, very sad.

When I knew that Charlie was deep within his sleep, I decided to act. I went to his room, and awoke him bye touching his too warm face. He shuddered, my hand was cold. "Hello" I told him.

He sat up, his eyes wide. I had taken off my appearance, only my contacts remained, I didn't want him to see my blood red eyes. "Bella!" He cried, he stumbled, but somehow managed to get to me, he embraced me. "Bella, I'm so sorry" He whimpered.

"I'm sorry Dad" I had guessed that was what I called him. "For leaving you so much sooner" I had learned that graduation was on it's way, I had guessed that I would have soon left, notheless.

"Oh my baby." He sobbed.

"It wasn't and isn't your fault I told him." I didn't want him to be depressed forever. "I wasn't anyone's fault...so don't blame yourself, not Renee, Jacob, not even Edward. Please, for me, don't be hateful." I told him.

"Bbbut" He stuttered.

"It was an accident...A fire, jammed belt...but it wasn't anyone's fault. Have no regrets, I just wanted to tell you good bye, and to tell that I love you." Then I disappered from his sight, I ran fast so fast, he didn't even know what really happened.  
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I still had not remembered my lost memories, but I had made new ones. They were probably almost the same as the ones I did not remember. I knew now, more about the girl Bella, who I had once been. And then I felt it necessary to visit my forgotten mother. She deserved a goodbye from me as well.

So I flew, across the country. And I used the same disguise as before, but maybe not quite the same excuse. I desired to know who my mother was, is.

She had divorced Charlie and remarried a man named Phil. She was very artsy, and she could get off topic, easily. Then she told me about me, about Bella. About how clumsy she was. And she laughed when she told me that I talked in my sleep. She told me that I moved because she wanted her to be happy. And lastly she told me that, "She really wanted him, she really loved him."

Then I left. I couldn't take it anymore. I hid away in an hotel room. I couldn't believe that I could give up all of this. I sobbed, and cried, silently and without tears. Why would I give up such a life? How could I? I wished terribly, that I could remember Renee, Charlie, Jacob, those kids from that school, and Edward. I wished I could remember Bella, and my life before this one. I could not believe that I had sacrificed my memories for this life. What did I get out of it? What did I exchange? What was my sacfice for my memories? The need for blood? To live in a sunless world? To forever be cold and hard as stone? To take humans? Why did I do such a thing? How could I want this? After I had everything? Friends, good friends, a family...people who loved and cared for me...I had a life, a life not ready to end so soon. Why did I sacrifce, everything?

When I got a hold of myself, I went back to Renee's home, Phil wasn't there this night. I awoke her like I awoke Charlie, I told her basically the same thing, I told her goodbye and that I loved her, too. I told her not to blame Charlie, nor herself, she didn't deserve the blame, no one did. She begged me not to go. Which made me sob, without my lost tears. I told her I had to. and so I kissed her cheek goodbye, and once again vanished from her sight, forever.  
----------

Back in the same room, I cried again, tearlessly, I wished I had tears. I wish I was pink and soft again, I wished my eyes were brown, and that I could eat strawberries...I didn't know why I wanted strawberries...How could I choose this life over the wonderful one I had before? How could I do this?

'She truly loved him.' A voice from one of my new memories said. 'She really wanted him, she really loved him.' Renee's voice said. "I came here to destroy myself.' Edward's voice entered.

He was going to destroy himself... Suddenly it came in focus. Edward loved me, to the ends of the Earth. To the point that he wanted to destroy himself, rather than live in a world without me.  
I then...I thought he left me, but not to purposely hurt me. He did it to try and do what was right. Even though, as a human t must have crushed me. It did send me into a deep depression. BUt not because he didn't love me. But because he did love me.  
"He loves me more than life." I said aloud to myself.

Then it all came together. Like pieces from a puzzle. The sacrifice... The reason I gave up everything, all those people. Why I excahnged it for this life. To follow him. Because I wanted him, because I loved him more than my own life. That's why I gave it up. Because I loved him. Because I loved Edward.

I closed my eyes. That map appeared before my eyes. I searched through the pin points, searching for him. I found him someplace close to Chicago. He laid on the ground. Somewhere in a forest. He was curled up, almost into a ball. His head was bent low and crumpled in pain. His lips quivered, he was saying something I couldn't hear, but I read them easily. He wouldn't stop repeating, 'I'm so sorry.'

I opened my eyes. There was a strange feeling in me. I didn't understand it. But it started to hurt...me, to see him in such agony. What was I going to do now? What could I? What was the right choice? What did I want to do? Italy? No, I didn't want to go back there. I couldn't go back there.

I closed my eyes, again, I looked back at Edward. But suddenly I saw something different. Instead of him curled up on the ground, he was laid back, his arms spread out, sun light glittered off his skin. And then I saw a girl, I knew, sitting next to him. I opened my eyes. quickly I closed them again to look back at Edward. The sun was not shining, it was very dark. Edward was back into that same position.

I opened my eyes. I felt in pain. I wished I could remember him. The way we were. The way it had I wished I could remember his touch. His cold skin, his hard skin. I wished I could remember what his smiles were like, how they made me feel. I wished I had remembered my love for Edward. because now, I felt so alone. I hugged my self. My breathing stopped. It hurt so much. I wished I could love him as before. Then suddenly it all stopped, my pain.  
"I can love him again." I said aloud. And it was right.

"That's right, Bella." A voice said, his voice. His voice. And it was. Even though I couldn't really remember him, or remember my love, I knew that I could love him, and that I did. There was just too much proof.

I sat up. I checked out of the Hotel room. I left my disguise, I didn't need it. I walked down the street, it was a dark night, but plenty of cars on the roads. I walked. The whole way, smiling.

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Hoped you liked it, next chap will be out soon...((oh and sorry Bella's-choice our new computer doesn't have a spell check...that I know of...)) please give me more reviews...! Not that I don't have plenty already, or that I'm being ungrateful or anything... 


	11. Chapter 11

the next few chaps could be guaranteed for little depression and more happyish ness...could..

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I sat o the roof of a tall building. I was far away from any place I had ever called home. I looked down at the beautiful city lights. My feet dangled over the edge. I pulled out my phone. I had only Alice's number. I would have to call her before I could get a hold of Edward.

The phone rang once.

"Hello?" Alice asked. She sounded unsure.

"Alice?"

"BELLA! Oops, I mean Isabell."

"No it's okay."

"Oh, okay." She sighed. "I thought it was you. I kind of freaked out whenever the phone rang and I didn't know who was calling, it scared Jasper too."

"Sorry...um Jasper?" I didn't know that name.

"My husband, he's part of the Cullen family..."

"Oh...sorry, I don't recall any of them..."

"It's alright...Um..can I help you with something?"

"I don't have Edward's number."

"Oh. Of course."

She gave me the number.

"Thankyou, Alice."

"Not a problem."

"Good bye Alice..."

"'bye Bella."

I disconnected the call, and dialed His number.

"Yes?" A wary voice asked after the fourth ring.

"Edward?"

"Bella-Isabell?" He asked, his voice suddenly light.

"You can call me Bella." I told him.

"Thank you."

"No, thankyou...um Edward when can I come visit?"

"Really? So soon?"

"That's okay, isn't it?"

"Of course it is!" He nearly shouted.

"Where do you want me to meet you?" I asked.

"Um...I don't know...How far are you from Forks, Washington?"

"Forks, Washington...hm...Not terribly far" What a lie...I could still beat him there if I wanted to...

"Alright, Um...Do you know where we used to live?"

"No, but I could find out...Don't worry, I'll meet you there."

"Alright...good. Oh and Bella, don't tell Alice."

"Why not?"

"I'll have them come by later. And I kind of want to surprise them."

"Oh...alright"  
------------------

I met him at his house...he had beaten me...but just by several hours. I had stolen another car...but the detail didn't matter...I didn't care about the car. I cared about Edward.

"Bella!" Edward nearly cried when he saw me. He appeared there, when I parked 'my' car. Such a gentleman, he opened my door.

"Where's your family?" I asked.

"They'll be here in a few hours." Edward said.

"What do you want to do until then?"

"I...don't know..."

Then I grimanced, it felt like I had a knife stabbed me in the stomach. But I straightened up. I could supress my thirst. The pain faded out.

"What's wrong?" He asked, seeing my expression.

"It's nothing..." It wasn't a big deal. Then I grimanced again.

He glared at me. "Define nothing."

I sighed. "Seriously, it's not a big deal...I'm just... thirsty. It's like when a human has hunger pains, only its a little more painful for me."

"That doesn't sound like nothing." He said skeptically.

"I'll be fine. I can suppress my thirst...I'll be fine."

"Except with the cringing in pain every few minutes..."

I rolled my eyes.

"We can fix that..." He said, his voice muted.

"How?"

"Let me introduce you to our diet"  
---------------

It was easier to take animals, than humans. The taste was fairly the same, not much of a difference. But it was filling, as always. It was very different but, like I said, so much easier. And...my hunting skills made him laugh.  
--------------


	12. Last Chapter

This is the last chap...I know, I know...it's sad...but also rejoicful...that means I can write another one!

* * *

We went back to his house. The rest of the family was there. It didn't seem as if hours had passed by. It seemed so short. As soon as I was out of his car, I was tackled by a black haired menace name Alice...Just joking. She hugged me as hard as the first time.

"BELLA!" She squealed.

"Um...Hi...Alice..." I said, unsure of what to say.

"My gosh Bella!" One of the other ones I didn't know. He was tall, and Big! A girl with long blonde curls stood next to him. But she didn't look at me.

"Um...?"

"That's Emmett." Alice answered.

"I'm so sorry...I don't remember most of you."

"I'm Carlisle." The oldest looking one said, he had blonde hair that matched his strange golden eyes.

"I know that name!" I said laughing. "I've heard lots about you."

"This is Esme-" He looked pointedly at the woman next to him.

"Welcome back, Bella" SHe said, a huge grin on her face. "I thought I had lost you too you know. You count as my daughter too."

"Jasper-" Carlisle continued, Jasper nodded. He stood closer to Alice, who was still trying to squish me. He too, had blonde hair.

"Hey, Bella..." He said in respone.

"Emmett, and Rosalie." He finished, the last couple nodded.

"Nice to meet all of you...Again...I guess."

When Alice finally let go of me, we went into their house. It was just as beautiful inside as it was outside. And toward the stairs that led up stairs sat a grand piano. Carlisle and Esme led us to the living room. We all sat down. I sat between Edward and Alice. Edward was on my right, Alice on my left, Jasper sat next to her. Carlisle and Esme sat on the love seat. And Emmett sat in one of the chairs, Rosalie on his lap.

"So, what happened?" Carlisle asked. "Alice only told us so much. That Bella was alive...Edward didn't-" He didn't finish. "What's the whole of the story?"

"I don't remember anything...But I think I know what happened." Carlisle nodded for me to continue.

"I set my truck on fire, they found my DNA in the remains. They assumed I was dead. BUt I had instead, went to Italy. I don't know how exactly I found out about them. But Fa- Aro had told me that I had begged to be changed, and so they changed me."

"That sounds...about right." Carlisle nodded.

"Why don't you remember anything?" Edward asked.

"Aro has a theory on that one too. He thought it was becasue I didn't have to be changed. I had a life before me...and it was my choice. I fI didn't choose this life then the only thing I would have had to give up would be my mortality."

"What?" Emmett asked.

But Edward shook his head at him, "It sounds...reasonable."

"So...what are you going to do...now?" Carlisle asked me. "Now that everything is figured out."

"Its still undecided." I told him.

Carlisle nodded.

"Not to be rude...but I need to speak with Bella...alone." Edward said.

"We'll see you later then..." Carlisle said.

"No! Don't take her away!" Alice cried. She hugged me again. Then she let go... "Just kidding...but you have to come back later..." She glared at me, making sure that I wouldn't really even think about running for it.

"Um...sure..." I told her.

We walked out the door, and back to Edward's silver volvo. Just like before, he opened the door for me.  
As soon as we were on the road I asked, "Where to?"

"A meadow...You have been there before...Alice said it would be clear tonight, and tomorrow."

"So what did you want to tell me?" I asked. I already knew that he didn't want to tell me now, but I asked, anyways.

"You have to wait until we get there."

"Of course..." Then I looked at the speedometer. Only 90... "Why so slow?" I asked.

He surprised me by laughing. Suddenly it went up. "I forgot...you used to hate it when I drived so fast." I lauged with him. This felt so right.  
----------

Then we stopped. He got out and opend my door. We parked at the edge of a trail which led into a forest.

"Run with me." He said, his voice excited.

And so I did. Within minutes we were in the meadow.

He sat down in the middle of it. I followed. This place was strangley familiar. Then I remembered, before...that image of a girl sitting with him, in the sunlight. I smiled, maybe someday I could remember everything. I looked at Edward, he didn't seem to fully relax, as I was. I watched him as he stared at the full moon.

"You really don't mind me calling you Bella?" He asked.

"No, it's okay, and it sounds right."

Edward laid down. I followed suit.

"Why did you come back so soon?" He asked again.

"It was time." I answered. The moon was almost as beautiful as Edward, but not quite. Back in Italy, I had just seen him as another vampire. Now, it was different. He meant more to me than what I could compare...

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

He took a deep breath, "I want you to know even though you don't hold the same feelings for me, as I do for you, I love you. And even though you-"

"Stop." I told him.

"I know this may seem difficult for you to hear, and it's even more difficult for me to say, but I must say these things." His head turned to me, I looked at his pleading eyes.

"I know, I understand your feelings, for me. That you would rather die, than exist without me." he nodded. "But please, hear what I have to say first."

He had pain written in his eyes. He tried to hide it. Did he think I was going to deny his love...?

"Please...don't" He whispered. I could see the fear too.

"Listen, Edward. I don't know the right words but-"

"Please don't say your leaving." Edward nearly cried. I glared at him.

"Sorry, but can you just listen?!" I nearly shouted.

Then I smiled. "Edward, I remember nothing, but suddenly, I've realized how much the human Bella loved you. And I wish I could be like she had. And my only request is to let me go with. And to give the chance to remember how much I loved you."

His face was suddenly, happy, more than happy...He grinned at my words. "Will you stay with me?"

"Can I stay with you forever?" I asked him.

Then we kissed.  
---------

"I had sacrificed everything to be with him. But even with memories lost. I found that I could still love him. Edward is my light. And when he went away, I couldn't see even myself. But when he came back I found me again, and I found my heart, which I thought was gone forever. My sacrifice was, I think...maybe, just maybe, it was worth it."


	13. not a real chapterepilogue!

**this has almost nothing to do with the story, just something I thought was necessary to add. Enjoy!**

* * *

The phone rang. Awakening Carlie. It was three in the morning. Only the night before had his sleep been disturbed by a dream of his dead daughter.

"Hello?" Mumbled Charlie.

"Charlie?" It was Renee's voice.

"Renee?" She too had suffered from depression over Bella.

"Charlie, I'm so sorry about what I said to you about Bella. I don't blame you anymore."

"But?" Charlie tried not to think about her hurtful words.

"I know this will sound very strange, but I just dreamed, or saw, or...I don't what I saw..." Renee started to panic.

"Calm down. What did you see?"

"Bella" was all Renee could say. Charlie froze. Then Renee continued. "She told me good bye, and that it was an accident, and for me not to blame anyone. So I'm calling to say that I'm sorry. I would feel aweful if I continued to blame you when she told me not too...So I am just so sorry. Charlie?"

Charlie stuttered... "S-s-s-she c-c-c-came t-t-to m-me t-too..."

"It wasn't a dream?" Renee gasped.

"No, she really came...to tell us good bye."

"Do you think she went to heaven?"

"Of course I do."

"Me too, good bye, Charlie."

"Good bye."

* * *

**this is my big thankyou thingy for all my wonderful reveiwers, because I love reviews!**


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